Date: November 12th, 11:00 AM GMT
Where to Watch: Live broadcast on TV8 Channel / https://www.youtube.com/@TV8canal
Location: BeamNG’s Johnson Valley Salt Flats
TATI: Right, folks, mark your calendars! Our Land Speed Competition is around the corner, and we’re itching to see who’s going to blast across those salt flats the fastest. We’ve got nine cars lined up, each with a single shot to claim glory unless, of course, Mr. Franco pulls another one of his legendary slip-ups, in which case the contenders may get a mulligan.
RUSTY: And if we’re honest, I reckon ol’ Franco will do just that. The man is as reliable as a rain gauge in a desert!
BENNY: True, Rusty, but let’s give the man credit – he’s still mostly keepin’ it together, even with tech issues poppin' up like potholes. Speaking of which, we’ll also be coverin' a sneaky little Pioneer prototype we spotted in the desert recently. But first – to the lineup!
The Runners and Riders
9 - Salonul Fericit Chaser
TATI: Now, this one's a bit of a wildcard. Due to an issue with the Automation exporter, we don’t quite know what it’s capable of, but William Vries is working his magic. Perhaps we’ll be pleasantly surprised, or we’ll watch it wobble like a toddler on a tricycle.
8 - Vires Courier SaltyDog
RUSTY: With a 5.1L V8 pushin’ 160 horses and…wait for it…a stereo! This baby’s comin’ to a salt flat showdown with a passenger seat and all! The Courier SaltyDog looks a tad unchanged from its factory model, so we'll see if comfort will cost it precious speed.
7 - Pioneer Premier Speed Demon
BENNY: Premier slimmed this one down and stuck some narrow tires on it for aerodynamics. It’s got an I6, 167 horses, and a spirit that says, “I’ll see you at the finish line… eventually.”
6 - Regal Aviator Top Speed
TATI: Another aerodynamic marvel, the Aviator is green and mean, like a bug skimming over the desert. It’s got a smaller V8, but the Aviator could sneak up on us all and sting right when it counts.
5 - Accurate Aquila Veloce V-Max
BENNY: The fan-favorite and maybe the cutest of the pack, Accurate’s got a 169-horsepower boxer four and a slippery shape. It’s got the crowd rooting for it, and it’ll look fantastic tearing up the salt flats.
4 - Phaeton TC Top Speed 2
RUSTY: Poor Phaeton has taken a trip into the future, looking like some truck from the 2020s with its makeshift top cover and scary sharp edges. Mr. Franco's positively jumpy about the thought of driving it, and honestly, can’t blame him.
Our Top 3 Picks to Win
3 - Truffle MotorsMako Speedster
Rusty’s Pick
RUSTY: Folks, I just couldn’t pass up on the Mako. She’s got a 7.5L V16 throwin’ out 529 horsepower. It’s got a fin now, and lemme tell ya, that fin’s keepin' this big fish in line. Sure, it weighs as much as my grandma’s barn, but with power like that, the Mako’s got some serious get-up.
TATI: You’re just drawn to anything that guzzles fuel, Rusty. It’s a beast, but let’s face it, this thing’ll be in a wrestling match with the salt itself just to stay straight.
BENNY: You might be onto somethin’, Tati. But hey, sometimes a heavyweight can surprise us all, right, Rusty?
2 - DCMW Jawad Twelve Sprinter
Tati’s Pick
TATI: Now, this is the car to watch, the Jawad Twelve Sprinter, a V12 with 666 horsepower. It's a silver devil on wheels, and as aerodynamic as a rocket – minus the radiator and exposed engine acting as its own mini sail. It’s not only intimidating but might just prove faster than our dear Mako.
RUSTY: Yeah, ‘cept it might fight the air harder than a pig in mud. That radiator’s like a parachute on the front.
BENNY: But a flashy, scary-silver parachute, Rusty. You don’t know; it might slice through fine enough.
1 - Catelletto Tipo 48 Speedster
Benny’s Pick
BENNY: And I’m backin' the champ – Catelletto’s Tipo 48 Speedster! It’s a V12, a solid 563 horses, and a cool 1000 kg, lean as they come. Catelletto’s already had to pull some all-nighters after Franco smashed up the last one, but you know they’ll have it ready for showtime.
TATI: It might be the lightest and fastest, but one wrong move, and it’s airborne. Catelletto had better hope it hugs the ground like a lover or it’s curtains.
RUSTY: I’ll give ya that – light don’t always mean faster in a straight line, but we’ll see if your Catelletto can keep its feet on the ground.
Forum Chatter
RUSTY: Now, seems like there’s a bit of a fuss about post lengths on the forum. Young Nolan reckons our posts’ll be old enough to vote by the time he’s done readin’. He’s talkin’ marriage, kids, a whole mortgage!
TATI: As if Franco will ever trim anything down, bless him. Perhaps he’ll aim for brevity when Nolan turns 33. Perhaps.
BENNY: Franco’s tryin' his best! He says he’ll shorten things up, but hey, if we start givin' ‘em quickies, don’t come cryin’ for more!
Pioneer Prototype Sighting
BENNY: Now, out in the desert, we caught sight of this pint-sized Pioneer prototype. It’s got the Pioneer charm but smaller and sharper. Nothing on performance yet, but once we get behind the wheel, we’ll let y’all know if it’s all bark or bite.
RUSTY: Yeah, it didn’t sound like much from a distance. Louder than a Premier, but just about as mean. Lookin' forward to it, though.
Holiday Schedule Update
TATI: And finally, dear readers, we’ll be updating our competition schedule over the holidays to let Franco catch up on much-needed repairs. Mind you, it’s not just his PC that needs work – he’s off for yet another surgery to get his head fixed as well.
RUSTY: Let’s just hope the only thing breakin' this time is his streak of mess-ups. Man’s gotta get his head and his hard drive straight!
There you have it, folks! Tune in on the 12th, and let’s see who’ll come out king of the salt flats.
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