Benny “Boost” Parker Presents: Why Rusty’s Wrong (Again)

Ah, another day, another grumpy article from our dear Rusty Throttle. Look, I get it, he’s got this whole “let’s roast everything” thing going on, but someone’s got to step up and see the glass as half full—or in this case, the gas tank. So, I’m here to bring a little optimism into the world of 1946 cars. Let’s break down why Rusty’s wrong about our three four-wheeled heroes: the Premier, Coureur, and Devine Swine.

Pioneer - Premier

• Looks: 1.5 (Hey, 1.5 means it’s almost good-looking, and that’s a win in my book.)

• Price: $6,162.00 (That’s a bargain! You could use the extra cash for gas… and a nice coat of polish.)

• Projected Sales: 16,367 units/month (Now, that’s what I call a crowd-pleaser.)

Rusty says the Premier is boring. Sure, maybe it’s not going to light your hair on fire with excitement, but what’s wrong with dependable? You know what’s exciting? A car that actually starts when you turn the key. And the Premier does just that every time. Its 1.5 in looks means it’s more than average—it’s handsome in that “I-can-get-the-job-done” kind of way. And speaking of jobs, with over 16,000 people projected to buy this thing every month, it’s clear that people appreciate a solid ride.

Also, Rusty’s downplaying the drag version rumor, but I can already hear that engine growling. Just wait. It’s going to be a sleeper hit at the drag strips.

Vires Motor Company - Coureur

• Looks: 1 (This is what style looks like, Rusty, even if it’s just average.)

• Price: $8,952.00 (Yellow paint? Perfect for catching people’s attention—and hey, it’s safer too.)

• Projected Sales: 2,433 units/month (That’s more than 2,000 drivers who know how to make an entrance.)

Now, I know Rusty can’t stand the Coureur’s flashy yellow paint, but here’s where we disagree—this car screams confidence! The moment you roll down the street in one of these, you’re telling the world, “Yeah, I’ve arrived.” And let’s be real, safety first, right? People will see you coming from a mile away. The top speed of 161 km/h? Perfect for a bit of fun on the weekends while still keeping things civilized.

Rusty also talks about the price, but let’s not forget you’re getting that shiny V12 under the hood. Power, style, and presence—that’s worth every penny if you ask me.

Truffle Motors - Devine Swine

• Looks: 1 (It’s got personality, Rusty, ever heard of that?)

• Price: $8,374.00 (That V12 practically pays for itself in smiles per gallon.)

• Projected Sales: 1,332 units/month (That’s 1,332 people with impeccable taste.)

Ah, the Devine Swine. Rusty seems to think calling it a pig is a bad thing, but pigs are smart animals, you know? This car’s no different. Sure, its 4.7L V12 might drink fuel faster than a sailor downs whiskey, but you’re paying for experience, not just mileage. That kind of power is something you feel in your bones. Plus, if you’re spending time at gas stations, you’ll meet all sorts of interesting people. Silver linings, my friends.

Also, let’s not forget how rugged this thing is. Heavy? Sure, but that’s called sturdy, Rusty. If you’re in this, nothing’s getting in your way.

Benny’s Verdict

Where Rusty sees problems, I see potential. The Premier? A practical gem. The Coureur? Stylish and safe. The Devine Swine? A powerhouse with character. If you ask me, these cars are just what we need to brighten up the dreary post-war roads. So, while Rusty keeps grumbling, I’ll be over here, enjoying the drive.